only writting..

i hate dis laptop without chinese character typing..
so dis whole post will be written in my broken english..
it seems to b very long i didnt update my blog..
juz wanna complain my environment here..
not bout colleagues..but environment..
my living environment...my working environment...
i really dislike d room staying now..
not bcos of the matter of big o small..
but the atmosphere..the air is very dirty..
since d restaurant is juz a few steps away...
those cooking scent will cum into d room making me hard to breathe..feel very oily whole day..
last time my sis ask me whether need an air-cond for our room and i was regretted for my ans...
cos d room is hot whn there is no rain..n i think d air flow is worse still..
but wat to do..this is not our house..
juz a rented room...a quite convenient place for my sis n i..sumhow d rental is reasonable too..
act d house is quite nice but i juz dun like d position of d room..
i wish i could find a more better place to stay..
act i more wish i can have more privacy..cos i dun like my sis to check on my stuffs..
really cant do my thing according my will while living wif my sis bcos of those thing...

aimless..

finally my study life is finished yesterday...
i supposed to be excited for d new life...sumhow i will no longer step into uni, school..
but seem like i dun feel comfortable bout dat...
wat happened to me?
bcos of job?diff place?diff challenge?
i dunno...
i juz noe i m not dat relieved aft settling all my stuffs...
n i wont bc to my home dat fast summore...
but whn thinkin bout working...many stuffs cum to my mind...
can i find a job during dis recession?is it my dream job o unrelated?
d tears drop suddenly..haha..dunno y..
how to stop it?so long..
miss...
suddenly thinkin of living without aim...pointless...
really wan to find sumthin to do...
i hate dis life without nothin...

hate..

i hate myself today..
cant even manage to finish dis uniform plane wave..d 1 studied last time..
i had ady less fb-ing as ask by si yao...
but still, cant even cont dis section...
so..i watched an episode of drama...feel guity thn..
wat should i do to concentrate myself?
mayb i should not touch my comp during dis study week..
but thn..i still wanna update my mailbox...to get news frm faizal...
haih..dunno wat is his comment on my report..

不体贴的我

4/4
今天伤了一个人的心。（more precisely is yesterday...)
还令他落了男人之泪...
觉得我这个女友真不体贴，昨天竟然察觉不到他的不妥。
刚才msn 时，就觉得有点weird...even his reaction oso unusual..
i juz realised that he was really keeping sumthin frm me when called him..
he was upsetting aft reading dis blog..(he really got into dis blog frm my clue n i wish i didnt giv d clue)..
he does care bout how i think bout him..n all d cons i stated in d blog..
act i dun really care so much cos i think he can change as long as he has d determination n initiatives..
foremostly, i hope he 1st change his over-thinking behavior..
dis is not d 1st time he thought too much..
for me is nothing...but whn d same case to him, he will think d worse side...
d worst is..he didnt even tell me dat he had read my blog....
n thinkin all d negative sides without my concern..
fortunately, he said he felt relieved aft chattin wif me n i hope itz true..

i think if i was not called n asked him, i wont even noe his real reason for sadness..
he juz thinks bout his bad side but not d good 1:
he noes sumthin dat i dunno...n sumhow i dont need to pretend to noe everything in front of him..
he treats me very well..(d most important 1 which can make him scores^^)

summore i think i hav many bad behaviors dat need time for him to discover..
who noes later i m d 1 in sadness + 'gloomy'..

memory..

juz hav time for me to cont d posting routine..
aft passed up d 1st draft n feeling lazy...haha..
i noe sum1 is going to kill me whn seeing these 2 sentences=p
juz wanna say sumthin bout him..

d 1st time v met (21/3):
act i m very excited n nervous to c him..
even though i noe wat he looks like, still, i scared i cant recognise him on the spot..
good for me is dat..v all hav hp..haha..
so wif a phone call..i tried to find d correct location whr v suppose to meet up..
n fortunately i could recognise his fren..(dat skinny n not so tall guy whose name is vivien..)
n he..as my thought..a fat n short guy..haha..
act his height is almost same wif my si yao..but he is more fatter..haih..(but not as beng hock la..)
v went to times square dat day..
v had our 1st lunch at sushi king..without his fren of course..
i hardly to start d conversations between us==
y???? y i can easily talk f2f wif ks?but not him?
i thought v could hav long chatting since our nite call can b very long..
but seems like i was wrong thn..
n dis made me think of d dinner wif ks last time..
he told me his stories frm his works to personal stories..mostly his experiences..
n i like to listen to ppl stories..so dat nite was probably a nice dinner wif him..
i thought i could find dat feels again wif tarn shi..mayb i was looking high on him..
but thn i gav accuse 4 me dat dis juz our 1st time meeting..shouldn't hav expected more..
n i even did sumthin 'xia sui'..
whn he wanted to feed me, i ignored him..
itz few secs later dat i realised it..haha..
aft v went out frm sushi king..he held my hand suddenly..i dunno wat to react thn..
i juz let it b..cos i really cant think dat moment..
thn v had window shoppin in times square even though d shop lots r still opening..haha..
cos really hav nothing to buy..(v cant 为了买而买)
aft wastin our time in 'shopping', v had movie wif his fren..thn was dinner..
during dinner time, i juz realise his fren is very 'ngai yi hei'..
even though he will hav test dat week, he still accompany tarn shi down to kl..
sure ts will need to treat him very well..haha..

2nd day in sunway (22/3):
dis day very 'sui'..
cos whn v wanna step out frm jusco, i met wif my hometown fren wif his parents..omg!!!
at 1st, i thought siong yeong is juz hanging out wif his frens..
while i was in dilemma whether wan to greet him onot(cos he didnt realise me at all), suddenly i saw his parents (uncle n aunty) in front of me..
summore his mother recognised me..(kelian dao...)..
i quickly went off aft greeting them..
cos dis aunty is a nitemare for us~~
since thn, i realise my parents are gonna to noe tarn shi existence even though i didnt tell them..
so i asked my sis to tell them my status at the rite time n rite place..
thus, everything is clarified now..
no more cheatin my family oso..

p/s: i still think he needs to improve alot..

在不在乎爱与不爱？

在乎不在乎

很多时候，我们会去关注别人的眼神，
别人的表情，别人的哪怕是极细小的动作，
甚至去反复地品味，并且极度渴望去品味之中能最多的获得自己需要的信息
哪怕是给自己的一点点启示或暗示。
甚至有时会在反复的品味中不断的加深自己的印象，
去更加进一步肯定自我的判断
比如说：
今天自己的衣服换了，别人会怎么看呢？
别人会否觉得衣服漂亮？会否觉得衣服得体呢？
我们每个人似乎都在想去极力的想得到别人的的认可，
今天领导颜色不对，是否自己做错了什么呢？
是否领导不再欣赏自己？昨天的那一件糗事会否让人一永远都瞧不起自己呢？

为什么一个会在乎谋些人的不在乎？
是什么化学反应会产生这样的效果？
这些不在乎的东西既然会让人感到不愉快


爱与不爱
“有多少爱可以重来，有多少人愿意等待，当懂得珍惜以后回来切不知道那份爱会不会还在”
每当耳旁响起那熟悉的旋律时，心里总是感慨万千，“迪克牛仔”用他那嘶哑的嗓音把这首沧桑的歌演译的淋漓尽至。
爱情，是我们一生都不可避免的事情或许说是我们一生追求的事情...
每个人都会有自己的爱情经历不管结局怎样过程都是令人难以忘怀。
每段爱情都是因为双方有好感而开始的开始是普通朋友，有时间打个电话发个短信
后来，对对方慢慢的了解加深就演变成了情侣在爱情高温觉的都完美无缺
爱与不爱
就是点点滴滴的  琐琐碎碎，处理不好  爱也不爱，调理有方  不爱成爱

stupid housemate..

y do i hav such a secret spreading housemate??
i dun even noe y he still wanna talk bout my thing since i had warned him?
i do care bout it cos all d so called 'happy' things havent happened to me..
itz a matter of time i m very strict to..
act i dun care if he says it out start frm next week cos i will noe wat i wan aft dis weekend..
yeah..i still hav doubt bout my relationship till now since i nvr met d guy b4..
i dunno wat will happen tmr..mayb itz juz a start or d end?
datz y i juz let few ppl noe bout my status..
but thn today, my super duple stupid housemate exposed the secret v kept for 1 month..
i really had nothing to say..
juz hope everything will b fine..

saying~

aft 1 week as promise, finally, he sang to me yesterday..with his bad vocal..haha..
but he still managed to sing d whole song..
n i, too, could control myself not to laugh till d last tone..haha^^
but yesterday was d longest call v ever had..
even my roomie oso in shock (me too ><)..haha (almost 3 hours for dat)
n i ady forgot what had been talked about yesterday nite..
v will hav our 1st meet next weekend..but i would rather scare thn being excited...
cos i dun even noe he is d right person for me?
n these few days i thought of d decision last time..
m i very rush in accepting him?
i dun even very know d person in real..
v r juz knowing each other virtually..through msn n phone call..
i think chatting with him ady be my daily practice..even though our starting of conversation is d same everyday, still, we can chat till very late.. n i will feel d day is weird without his message..
thus, last weekend whn he went to thailand prove dis..
even though itz juz 2 days without any info frm him, i still felt very strange those days..
i think he is very bad to make me waiting for his message everyday since v noe each other..
itz all his fault;(

Am i juz like stated?

juz tried to take dis personality test frm dis website: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx
n i got dis analysis:
Your view on yourself:You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.
How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

p/s: i think sum r true n sum may not wrong cos even i oso cant really understand myself.

乌龟大变身

 ~Original look

 ~1st look












~2nd look










 
~Square look












~Usage












~Here comes Dolphin

 










~1st combination

~2nd combination ^^

p/s: juz noe dat the turtle can b very useful and cute~

心情写造

不知怎么了,现在觉得有点down..

也不知为什么会有这种感觉。会不会是背景音乐关系？（给我一首歌的时间）

原本在看的书也不怎么读下去了。为什么？我也很想知道。

难道是觉得有点对不起自己？堕落了这么久，就连一科subject 也没读完。

下个星期要交的group assignment也还没开始。

也觉得对不起qiqi...托我帮忙的fyp一点也没进展给她。

自己手头上的fyp也没进度。虽然model 算是complete了，但data却还没完全的收集。but i still can be so relax that watching drama everyday..

可能是自责所至的坏心情吧！

虽然跟某人在chatting，却一点也不投入。(sorry to him)

想找个人谈天却不知要谈些什么。

唯有自己闭门静思才能走出这坏心情吧！

Accept?Reject?

What's good in him?I don't know any but when everytime i 'm sad and lost direction in daily, his voice sure will accompany me..
thn what's bad criteria he has?? -stupid, nerd, out-of-date, likes to ask questions dat hard to answer, always being fooled by me and many more.....
he always gives me signal to advance our friendship but i everytime i avoid talkin dis sensitive issue...
i blame myself y m i havent made my decision till now...
yesterday i had surprise present frm him...

dat nite he asked for my think..i really didnt noe wat to ans...
i m not thinkin bout rejecting him but i hav no courage to say 'yes' to him...
y m i still cant make up my mind?
i oso dunno...

Difficulty

having insomnia yesterday...1st ever in this house..
kept thinking of what he said to me..plus my coursemates advices..
really have no idea on what to do..
but what i can say from his words is..
'how come there is such stupid guy who doesn't know any tricks to deal with a girl?'
unfortunately, i really know one from this rare guy type in my life..
the 1st question he asked in the phone was to know whether we can meet up if he comes to KL..
this is still ok..
then the next he asked whether he can date with me on 14/2..
omg...i don't even really know about this guy but he asked for date on valentine's day?
this question is really hard since the day itself means a lot to everyone...
i know that i had given him bullshit excuse not to go out that day..and i think i was disappointing him by that reason..
i don't know whether i was right about the decision but i am pretty sure that our friendship will be totally different from now if his invitation was accepted..
besides, i don't even tell him my thoughts and all the worries about our relationship cos i am quite satisfied with the condition recently...chat without boundary..exchange experiences..
perhaps i was scared of losing this best ever virtual friend..
this may sounds stupid to my coursemates as they think i scare nothing but i really don't have the courage to step forward for the advanced relationship..

乱写

突然想写些东西，就来到了这里。
总觉得这几天都在浪费时间。来来去去都在看着同一本书，很慢的进展。
不过这样废的日子还有距离一天。过了明天将会是个很紧迫的每一天。到时，我将会很怀念这个废废的时段。
最近一直都在回想以前的事情。若当初没搬到campus外住会造就怎样的我？或许不会有写blog的一天吧！每天只会k书、睡觉、参与活动... 这些只是或许，因为我也永远找不到答案。
虽然跟这班housemates相处不错，但总觉得我对他们还不够诚实。正确地说，应该是对任何人都不够坦白吧！
五月天‘你不是真正的快乐’的歌词还满贴切的。我还有着一层的保护色，对他人没信心。不对，是我的信心不够，担心会伤害到他人，到最后连朋友都没得做。
其实我还蛮依赖他人的。每个人都认为我是个独来独往的女生，但我觉得我没他们说的那么意志坚定。很多时候，我的心都会被他人无数次的‘攻击’而动摇了，甚至会因此而举棋不定。
糟！越写下去，我的心情越复杂了。魂魄飘到黄河去了，很彷徨。
不写了，会疯掉...