hate..

i hate myself today..
cant even manage to finish dis uniform plane wave..d 1 studied last time..
i had ady less fb-ing as ask by si yao...
but still, cant even cont dis section...
so..i watched an episode of drama...feel guity thn..
wat should i do to concentrate myself?
mayb i should not touch my comp during dis study week..
but thn..i still wanna update my mailbox...to get news frm faizal...
haih..dunno wat is his comment on my report..

不体贴的我

4/4
今天伤了一个人的心。（more precisely is yesterday...)
还令他落了男人之泪...
觉得我这个女友真不体贴，昨天竟然察觉不到他的不妥。
刚才msn 时，就觉得有点weird...even his reaction oso unusual..
i juz realised that he was really keeping sumthin frm me when called him..
he was upsetting aft reading dis blog..(he really got into dis blog frm my clue n i wish i didnt giv d clue)..
he does care bout how i think bout him..n all d cons i stated in d blog..
act i dun really care so much cos i think he can change as long as he has d determination n initiatives..
foremostly, i hope he 1st change his over-thinking behavior..
dis is not d 1st time he thought too much..
for me is nothing...but whn d same case to him, he will think d worse side...
d worst is..he didnt even tell me dat he had read my blog....
n thinkin all d negative sides without my concern..
fortunately, he said he felt relieved aft chattin wif me n i hope itz true..

i think if i was not called n asked him, i wont even noe his real reason for sadness..
he juz thinks bout his bad side but not d good 1:
he noes sumthin dat i dunno...n sumhow i dont need to pretend to noe everything in front of him..
he treats me very well..(d most important 1 which can make him scores^^)

summore i think i hav many bad behaviors dat need time for him to discover..
who noes later i m d 1 in sadness + 'gloomy'..

memory..

juz hav time for me to cont d posting routine..
aft passed up d 1st draft n feeling lazy...haha..
i noe sum1 is going to kill me whn seeing these 2 sentences=p
juz wanna say sumthin bout him..

d 1st time v met (21/3):
act i m very excited n nervous to c him..
even though i noe wat he looks like, still, i scared i cant recognise him on the spot..
good for me is dat..v all hav hp..haha..
so wif a phone call..i tried to find d correct location whr v suppose to meet up..
n fortunately i could recognise his fren..(dat skinny n not so tall guy whose name is vivien..)
n he..as my thought..a fat n short guy..haha..
act his height is almost same wif my si yao..but he is more fatter..haih..(but not as beng hock la..)
v went to times square dat day..
v had our 1st lunch at sushi king..without his fren of course..
i hardly to start d conversations between us==
y???? y i can easily talk f2f wif ks?but not him?
i thought v could hav long chatting since our nite call can b very long..
but seems like i was wrong thn..
n dis made me think of d dinner wif ks last time..
he told me his stories frm his works to personal stories..mostly his experiences..
n i like to listen to ppl stories..so dat nite was probably a nice dinner wif him..
i thought i could find dat feels again wif tarn shi..mayb i was looking high on him..
but thn i gav accuse 4 me dat dis juz our 1st time meeting..shouldn't hav expected more..
n i even did sumthin 'xia sui'..
whn he wanted to feed me, i ignored him..
itz few secs later dat i realised it..haha..
aft v went out frm sushi king..he held my hand suddenly..i dunno wat to react thn..
i juz let it b..cos i really cant think dat moment..
thn v had window shoppin in times square even though d shop lots r still opening..haha..
cos really hav nothing to buy..(v cant 为了买而买)
aft wastin our time in 'shopping', v had movie wif his fren..thn was dinner..
during dinner time, i juz realise his fren is very 'ngai yi hei'..
even though he will hav test dat week, he still accompany tarn shi down to kl..
sure ts will need to treat him very well..haha..

2nd day in sunway (22/3):
dis day very 'sui'..
cos whn v wanna step out frm jusco, i met wif my hometown fren wif his parents..omg!!!
at 1st, i thought siong yeong is juz hanging out wif his frens..
while i was in dilemma whether wan to greet him onot(cos he didnt realise me at all), suddenly i saw his parents (uncle n aunty) in front of me..
summore his mother recognised me..(kelian dao...)..
i quickly went off aft greeting them..
cos dis aunty is a nitemare for us~~
since thn, i realise my parents are gonna to noe tarn shi existence even though i didnt tell them..
so i asked my sis to tell them my status at the rite time n rite place..
thus, everything is clarified now..
no more cheatin my family oso..

p/s: i still think he needs to improve alot..